Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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