Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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