My hand turned me down
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I am available for nakedness
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
