my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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