Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
