Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think I am morally bankrupt
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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