wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
