i love accidental penises.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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