Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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