Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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