I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
