I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
not ubering you a puppy
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
