can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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