Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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