So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
