shes about as inviting as chlamydia
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
