I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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