Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
