Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
