I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
BRING THE BAGELS
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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