sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Randomize
