The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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