just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ladies don't puke and tell
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
