when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
