I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
