so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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