If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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