how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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