how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
i've created a new STD.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
