So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
