Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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