Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
