I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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