Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
