Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
