Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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