i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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