I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
