Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
