we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
