I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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