dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
