I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
