it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
