dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
