naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
