Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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