first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
