I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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