I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
