He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This is the high leading the old right now
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
