nut hugger
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
