we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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